Who Is Your Adviser?

Text:2 Samuel 13:1-14

"And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar;and Am on the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar;for she was a virgin;and Amnon thought it hard for him to do anything to her. But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother :and Jonadab was a very subtil man.And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the kings son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.

And Jonadab said unto him, lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick:and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand. So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick:and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand. Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon's house, and dress him meat.

So Tamar went to her brother Amnon's house;and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it, and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes. And she took a pan, and poured them out before him;but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him.

And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.

And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, come lie with me, my sister.

And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me;for no such thing ought to be done in Israel :so not thou this folly. And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shall be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king;for he will not withhold me from thee. Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice:but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her.

Then Ammon hated her exceedingly ;so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. And she said unto him, There is no cause:this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst to me. But he would not hearken unto her.

Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her."

The friends you keep will either make or destroy you. There is an adage that says :" Show me your friend and I will tell you who you are."

So,it is very important that you choose who should be your friend and not just everybody or anybody. Your friend is either a blessing or a curse to you, depending on the type he or she is (ps. 1:1).

When you want to marry, who is your adviser? When you are having issues in your marriage, who is your adviser? What kind of friendship do you keep that you discuss life issues with?

Many are into prostitution today because of bad advisers as friends. Many are unfaithful in their marriage because their friends told them it does not matter.

Beloved, I want us to learn few lessons from the story of Amnon, Tamar and Jonadab in our text. 1.In whatever pressure we find ourselves, we should learn to seek Godly counsel. Amnon lusted after his sister, Tamar and got a wrong person, Jonadab, to advice him. From the way the Bible described Jonadab as a subtil (crafty) man, it means he was known for evil. Yet, he was the one Amnon could take advice from. 2. The devil as a thief is, indeed, a destroyer (Jn. 10:10). You noticed that as soon as Amnon committed the sin one would have thought will make him happy and satisfied, but rather he hated her (Tamar). That is what sin does to us. Before you commit it, it will look like it will give you all the pleasures in this life, but after committing it, you will be more empty and frustrated than you had thought. You will end up hating yourself, but it would have been too late. 3. On the part of parents, we should be discerning to be able to guide our children. David was undiscerning, hence the consequences that followed. If he had discerned wll, he would have known that there was nothing special for it to be Tamar that must make cake for Amnon.

Brethren, I just want us to know that sin can never give anyone peace and satisfaction. It rather worsens your state of emptiness. That is why, when anyone is caught in crime, you see them regretting their ever involvement. Let your friends be those that fear God and you will not be wrongly advised.